Halloween is almost here. Across Evanston and Skokie, the pumpkins are on the porches, the costumes are picked (or still being debated), and the school parade is on the calendar. For a lot of kids, this is the best week of the fall. For others, it is a lot. And for many, it is both at the same time.
If your child has been more tearful, clingy, wound up, or quick to melt down this week, you are not doing anything wrong. Neither are they. Big days bring big feelings. That is true at 6 and at 16.
Fun can still be too much
We tend to think stress only comes from hard things. But excitement is stress too. The body does not always know the difference between thrilled and overwhelmed. Add a later bedtime, a costume that itches, a mask that makes it hard to see, crowded sidewalks, loud doorbells, and a pillowcase full of sugar, and even the most easygoing kid can hit a wall.
Some children get scared. A decoration that looks silly to an adult can look very real to a first grader. Some kids worry about getting lost, or about the dark coming earlier now that the evenings are shorter. Teens at ETHS and across the North Shore can feel a different kind of pressure: whether they are too old to dress up, who they will go out with, or whether they were invited at all.
None of this means Halloween is bad for your child. It means your child is human.
Slow it down before the big night
You know your child better than anyone. Use that. Talk through the plan ahead of time. Where will you go? How long will you stay out? What happens if they want to come home early? Kids feel safer when they know what to expect, and when they know they are allowed to change their mind.
Let them try on the costume before the big day. Walk the route in daylight if you can. If your child is sensitive to noise or crowds, pick a quieter block or a shorter loop. There is no prize for the most houses.
For younger kids, it helps to name the scary stuff out loud. "That skeleton is plastic. Someone put it there to be silly." You are not talking them out of their fear. You are giving them something solid to hold onto.
When the meltdown comes anyway
Sometimes it happens anyway. At the third house, right after you get home, or the next morning before school. When it does, lead with calm, not correction. Get low. Speak softly. Keep your words short. "That was a lot. You're safe. I'm right here."
Later, when everyone has rested, talk about it. What was the best part? What was the hardest part? What would you want to do differently next year? A slow walk along the Northwestern lakefill or Lighthouse Beach the next day can make that conversation easier. Side by side often feels safer than face to face.
That conversation teaches your child something important. Feelings are not emergencies. They can be named, survived, and understood.
For teens, connection may look different. They may not want to talk tonight. That is okay. Stay close. Offer a ride, a snack, or a late-night recap whenever they are ready. Being available counts.
Take care of yourself too
Parents carry a lot this season. Costumes, class parties, candy negotiations, and the steady pressure to make every moment magical. If you snap or feel worn out, give yourself the same grace you give your child. Repair is always possible. A simple "I got frustrated earlier, and I'm sorry" goes a long way.
When it might be more than a hard week
If your child's fears, worries, or meltdowns show up most days, at school or at home, and not just around holidays, it might be time for extra support. That is not a failure. It is a step toward feeling better.
At Find Your Voice Counseling & Consultation, we work with children as young as 6, teens, and families across Evanston, Skokie, and the North Shore. We also offer therapy in Spanish, so your whole family can be heard in the language that feels most like home.
Whatever this week looks like for your family, you do not have to have it all figured out. Show up, stay close, and keep the porch light on.
Find Your Voice Counseling & Consultation PLLC
Visit us at 820 Davis St, Suite 455, Evanston, or 5225 Old Orchard Rd, Suite 2, Skokie (free parking). We are in-network with BCBS PPO, Aetna PPO, Cigna/Evernorth, and United PPO, and reduced fee options are available. Telehealth is available anywhere in Illinois.
When you're ready, we're here. Book a session at therapyportal.com/p/findyourvoice or call (847) 232-6353.
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